Amanda screams out in terror. Moving too slow relative to the car, she knew she was about to get hit, and winced in reaction. In the waking world, Amanda’s gotten the wind knocked out of her more than once. And in her mind, she knows that’s what it feels like to be hit by a car. And that’s exactly what she felt next. It’s a strange feeling, though. She has never been quite knocked out like this before. She feels her stomach lurch and her senses scatter and well..like the wind was literally knocked out of her, but she does not get the few seconds of complete focus only on the pain, where no other thought comes to mind. So strange it is to her that she even finds the time to contemplate how strange it is. ‘Lucid dreams are fuckedddd’ Amanda thinks, as she’s thrown from her feet and into the air, flying for what feels like entirely too long to her.
Eventually though, she lands on the street about 10 feet back from where she was running, hitting the pavement three times before it finally catches her. Flat on her back, she lays there for a few seconds, fully aware of what just happened.
“Eat a dick, dream.” says Amanda, looking up at the sky.
She knew that she is the dream. And the dream is her. But it made her feel better to say that instead. She realized after a few seconds of waiting for the nerves to wear off and the pain to begin, that there was no pain. There would be no pain.
‘Oh my gods, I’m invincible.’ thought Amanda.
“Holy shit.” she muttered to herself. She spits on the pavement to check for blood, sure that there would at least be blood because that’s what happens in movies. It shined clear on the asphalt, clear. ‘No blood!’ she thought.
The driver of the car reversed slowly..then sped off, blowing right past her. Amanda stood up slowly after realizing the car was trying to get away. Incensed, she started chasing after it, yelling “Hey. Hey!! That’s a hit and run, man!! Somebody stop him!”, and started running even faster, intent on catching up with the speeding car. But after several seconds, she realized she was running. She was able to run. She was perfectly fine after being rundown by a car just seconds ago. She slowed down to a stop in the middle of the street. She takes a deep breath, stretches her neck and arms, and exhales slowly.
“This is all a dream. Don’t get emotional. This is all a dream. Don’t get emotional. This is all a dream. Don’t get emotional.” she reminded herself. She inhales again deeply, holds it for a few seconds, then releases. Her nerves calm a little and she remembers what she was trying to do. She l. ooks around, trying to gauge how everyone reacted to what just happened.
Mild interest bubbled in the street. People weren’t running up to her asking if she was alright (or Superwoman), but they also weren’t averting eye contact either. ‘I finally got their attention! Use it!’ thought Amanda.
“Attention, citizens, how many of you just saw me get hit by a car a few seconds ago?” she shouted to the crowd that formed on the street.
At least 10 people rose their hands. ‘Brilliant, now I’ve got them!’ she thought.
“And how many of you saw me get up and start running after the car just after I was THROWN 10 feet in the fucking air?” she said as she waved her arms upwards for emphasis.
Most of the same people raised their hands again, although a little timid this time.
“Any thoughts on that??” she said, hand on her hip, not really sure what she expected them to say.
The crowd offered no response.
Amanda thought the best way to convince them that that meant this was a dream was to remain calm and logical and win them over with argument. She did consider how amusing that was, to think one could reason with a dream, but she tried it anyways, because she was unsure of what else to do, and she believed there was a possibility of it working.
“Well thank heavens you’re okay, dear.” said one woman, and walked away in a hurry, apparently satisfied by the situation now that she knew no one got hurt and there was nothing more she needed to do to help.
“No, no. WHY am I not hurt? Has anyone asked themselves that? Is that suspicious to anyone at all?” Amanda queried.
“So, what you’re saying is, it’s all an act? Like some kind of street performance? I think I’ve had enough” said one construction worker, and starts to walk away, although, curiously enough to Amanda, in a different direction from the construction site just behind him.
More people start to leave.
“No! It’s not an act, how can I fake being hit by a car right in front of you. This isn’t TV! There’s no CGI!” said Amanda.
“So it’s an insurance scam, then!” said a new voice from the crowd.
More people started to leave.
“WHAT? HOW is it an insurance scam if I’m completely okay?? That doesn’t even make sense!” said Amanda, growing slightly amused at how willfully stupid the people were being. She began to chuckle a little about how ridiculous this all was.
The crowd was silent, so Amanda suggested “I should be DEAD. Well..at least in a hospital right now. BUT I’M FINE. ABSOLUTELY. FUCKING. FINE.” She said the last bit while waving her arms up wildly to show they weren’t injured. “Why do you think that is?”
The crowd looked confused and started to whisper amongst themselves.
“I’m not crazy! You saw me get hit! It happened! IT FUCKING HAPPENED, YOU WERE ALL WITNESSES! YOU RAISED YOUR HANDS. GODAMMIT, YOU RAISED YOUR HANDS!” screamed Amanda, widening her eyes and tilting her head sideways in expectation. Realizing, as well, she was not remaining calm like she initially planned.
“It’s a miracle!” said a voice from the crowd.
Amanda expected that response eventually, and realized she probably made it come by thinking it would. She cursed herself, knowing she was digging herself into this hole. She facepalmed. And then she realized that these people were just like Bowler hat guy. They would not be convinced. They would never be convinced.
‘What I need to do is find the crazy people! They would be the ones to maybe agree that this is all a dream. But where to find them?’ thought Amanda. She thought about it for a little bit and realized she would need to leave. ‘I need to get away from these “normies” ’ as she began calling them, ‘and maybe if I go on a journey to find the “crazies”, they would find me!’ Because that’s how it worked in dreamworld. ‘Because that’s how it works in dreamworld.’ She realized how demented that sounded and repeated to herself in her mind ‘This is a dream. I am God. This is a dream. I am God.’
She decided, even though she knew it wasn’t necessary, that she would have the last word with the crowd that was slowly dwindling on the street.
She began to yell in as much of an authoritative voice as she could muster “None of this is real. You are all my creations. I am your GOD, and none of this matters because it’s a dream.”
Everyone started to go back to what they were doing before. They started mumbling to themselves. Some laughed and some started to shake their heads in pity for what appeared to be a terribly confused and unhinged girl making a scene on the streets.
Amanda inhaled deeply again. She felt good saying that out loud. And not just because she was petty and right and they were wrong, but for something more, and she felt that. She had reaffirmed her convictions, and was not only sure beyond a doubt that this was a dream, but was now ready to be fully engaged with it and fully accepting of her new found, and rightfully-given Godly powers of creation.
‘Gods this feels good!’ thought Amanda, chuckling at the accidental pun, but trying to let this new feeling of literally unlimited power flow through her, and at the same time remaining as unsarcastic about this strange new experience as possible, which was becoming much easier every minute. It felt like a new wave of nerves washing over her, slightly less daunting than the one she experienced when she first realized she was dreaming, but still incredible nonetheless.
She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath again. The wave intensified. ‘This is almost better than sex!’ thought Amanda. In her 24 years, she had never experienced anything close to this wave of emotion and total clarity before, and it was strangely arousing. It was not overwhelming either, like the first shock of realization had been. No. She did not feel the slightest need to cry or shy away from this. She leaned into it. It felt somehow..cozy to her. This was entirely different. ‘Remember this feeling when you wake up!!’ she thought.
With her self-appointed and self-assured status of God of this world, she left the crowd in search of the “crazies” and said to the crowd “Amanda out”, and waved her arm as she pivoted away. The Amanda from the waking world would have thought that sounded cheesy, but she was a God here, no, THE God here, so everything she does is automatically godly, and it didn’t matter. It didn’t even matter that she referred to herself as a God and not Goddess, because whatever she calls herself, she is, because she made it so. Because that’s how it worked in dreamworld.
“So, as God of this world, I will head out to find the crazies” said Amanda, with conviction and a new-found air of divinity because she now genuinely believed she would find them, knowing that was so only because she believed it. She knew how crazy that would have sounded to the old her, but she also knew without a doubt in her mind, how right she really was now. Because that’s how it worked in dreamworld.
She started walking down the street, determined and assured to find the “crazies”. ‘Hmm, I don’t know how long this will take, but I’ll just start walking..this way.’ She pointed down a smaller road intersecting the one she’d just gotten hit by a car on, with absolutely no idea why except the knowledge that it would be the right way now that she chose it.
She was so self-assured that she no longer felt the need to assure herself. It was just a fact. She was God of this world. And a thought entered her mind just then while crossing the street, the street that she knew didn’t really exists. Amanda thought ‘Ohh, you know what would be fitting for a GOD OF THIS ENTIRE WORLD?’ she thought the last part while bending her knees slightly, leaning back with eyes up, arms out front with her palms to the sky as if in divine marvel. The waking Amanda would have only done that sarcastically, but in dreamworld, Amanda really was god. The God. And she was quite genuinely marveling at all of her creation- the birds, the smells of the air, the traffic noise, the feel of the wind against her face, the buildings, even the stupid fucking people.
‘- A cape! YESSSS! FUCK YES, A CAPE! Ooh, yes. Oh my God!’ she thought.
“Hahahaha,” she laughed out loud again at the same joke as before. “Oh man, that one will never get old!”. She paused for a second in the middle of the street, one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead as she laughed it out for a few seconds. Or maybe a few moments. This was funnier than she’d anticipated.
After a few moments, Amanda gathered her composure as her laughter subsided, and made a theatrical gesture with her hands to signal it was over, spreading her fingers across her face and dragging her hand downwards as she gathered her fingertips together to a point, while exhaling.
After a brief pause, she said “Now,” as she brought both arms straight out to either side, pinched her eyes shut, scrunched her nose and began swaying her head side to side as if bobbing to a good melody, but in fact purposefully deep in thought. “Purple!” she exclaimed as she opened her eyes and pointed both hands to her backside.
Instantly, a purple cape appeared flowing down Amanda’s backside. She giggled in awe and walked on. She felt so badass. ‘Damn, I feel so badass’ she thought to herself, while continuing onward, strutting down the street in her new and awesome cape. But it wasn’t just her cape that was new. No, when she bestowed onto herself a cape, and saw herself as a badass, and felt it to be true deep within herself, her whole outfit changed too. She was wearing all black now. No more tie-dye, and no more half-buttoned blouse for her. She was wearing something fit for God.
She paused for a moment, and stopped walking. “Oh dear, am I beginning to have a God complex?” she said aloud to herself with genuine worry. Then, after a moment, she began to laugh again, not quite as hard as with the “Oh my god” joke, but close to it. She answered back to herself “Is that even possible? For a LITERAL GOD” she did the divine hand gesture again, waving her hands to the sky, palms up, as if holding invisible balls in her hands “to have a God-complex?” She assured herself that that logic did not check out. So onward she walked.
Amanda continued walking further down the street, strutting with her new purple cape and black superhero-esque outfit, feeling like a God. Knowing she was God. Feeling like a badass. And knowing, too, that she was badass. She felt good- really good. She felt extremely content and knew that because she felt this way, that was how the dream would proceed. Because she, God of this world, created the dream from her own emotions. She knew that everything she saw was only a projection of her waking self’s thoughts, but she didn’t care. She was the Waking Amanda. She took in her surroundings on the street, and appreciated her mind’s own good taste in street planning. There were tall oak trees lining the street on both sides, offering shade to those walking it’s cobblestoned paths. The houses looked like a rich neighborhood in San Francisco, and all the people filling the street were varying shades of brown, minus one family who was actually bright red. She shivered and released a “woah” under her breath, marveling at them, but not wanting to stare for too long. It smelled of a forest in autumn, and that brought her more joy, being reminded of winter and skiing.
‘Okay, Amanda.’, she thought to herself as she continued to walk down the street. ‘You were on a mission. Don’t forget.’ She put her right hand up in front of her face, and sliced the air while saying “Yes, focused. Super focused. This is a dream. I am God. And I’m findi-”
“OH MY GOD!” she exclaimed, forgetting to laugh at the same joke a third time. Amanda’s heart began to race, and she squealed out loud. Pure joy and excitement started to flood her entire body, she was on overload almost to the point of crying again. She had stopped dead in her tracks, and started jumping from one foot to the other, as this was the only way she could express how she felt. In this moment, she had completely disregarded (whether purposefully or not is unclear) her self-appointed mission of finding the crazies.
Amanda had spotted a dog.
“AWW!!” she said in a high-pitched voice that she uses strictly with babies and dogs. The dog was not just any dog, it was Amanda’s favorite type of dog. Although the waking Amanda had never actually seen one in person before, she had still decided it was her favorite, and that someday she would get one, and love it until the day it died. But it was the Amanda in the dreamworld that was blessed with the chance to actually meet one in person. This was because the Amanda in the dreamworld was God. And Gods didn’t have to wait until ‘someday’.
It was a sheepdog. It was a giant sheepdog, which is already a giant dog, meaning this one was the size of a miniature horse. This one, Amanda decided, must have weighed at least 400 pounds! He had a stupid smile on his face, and raised his front paws like he wanted to play. He seemed like a gentle giant, completely pure at heart, because that’s the image of sheepdogs Amanda had before coming to dreamworld, and so that’s how he appears now. She didn’t know how she knew it was a him, she just knew it was true.
She took a deep breath in to calm herself, afraid of scaring him off. Then she stuck out her hand to pet him. But a thought came to her mind and she took back her hand.
She asked the dog “Hi sir. Can I pet you?” without a shred of sarcasm in her voice.
The dog licked her face, and she giggled. ‘Damn,’ thought Amanda, ‘feels like a real dog tongue. But freakin huge!’ She took it as a yes.
She shot out her hands, and began petting the dog’s giant head, scratching his neck and behind his ears like dogs from the waking world like it, making faces while doing so. She realized how fluffy he was, and how warm and soft his fur felt between her fingers as she fluffed his cheeks. He felt real. Really real.
“You are so cool!” she said emphatically to him, squeezing his cheeks together so his excess skin bunched over his eyes.
The dog started to lay down and roll on his side.
“Aww” she said in a high pitched voice again, “Do you want belly rubs? WHO wants belly rubs? WHO wants belly rubs??”.
The dog’s tail began to wag and she took that to mean “I do!”.
She obliged the dog, and started to scratch his belly. He started to kick his top leg out and back as if peddling an invisible bicycle.
She continued to pet the dog's head, then the dog sat back up, trying to find a new comfortable position. Amanda let out a squeal and said “I know you're not real, but you're so freaking cute!”, and leaned into him, embracing him in his soft and fuzzy warmth. She scratched its chin, and he stuck out his head, leaning into it.
The dog began to close his eyes, as if shutting out the world and only focusing on the now, only on this single good feeling he was experiencing from a good ol' chin scratch. She thought she could learn something from this dog.
Then she wondered to herself 'But as God of this world, why do I know so little? Why can I learn a lesson from this dog when I know he's not even real? Can Gods even learn lessons?' She didn't have an answer for herself, and thought it might be a question best left to the waking her to answer. 'Okay, remember this for when you wake up!' Then, she realized she should probably be writing this all down, because she knew she didn't have a good enough memory to recall every time she'd said so far that she needs to remember something. So she decided to start the list right now because she knew that the questions that she asked were very important if she was serious about understanding her lucid dreams, which she decided she was.
She needed to find something to write on and something to write with, and quickly before she forgot what it was she needed to remember. So she said out loud with sincerity “I need a paper and I need a pen,” while closing her eyes and waiting, not wishing, but waiting. Because wishing would imply she didn't know if it would come true, which she did, because as long as she believed it to be true, it would be.
She opened her eyes and checked in front of her for a notepad and a pen. There was no notepad nor any pen. She was very confused. She did not consider the possibility that she wasn't able to conjure a pen and paper when needed, because she was God of this world. And that was a fact. She didn't need to reason that if she was God of this world, and is able to create everything that she sees, feels, hears, tastes, touches, and is, then she can bring about a pen, no problem. She was simply God of this world, and that was enough.
So Amanda set about looking in every direction for this pen and paper that she created just a few seconds ago. She found a woman in a cafe nearby, sitting at a table outside. She was seemingly doing some research, and switching her gaze between her laptop monitor and her notepad, writing whatever she was finding online down onto the pad.
'Yes, so hard at work you are. Typing, typing, typing. Because your job is sooo important' thought Amanda. She began to laugh out loud, then began to consider another idea. 'Hmm, I wonder if her character knows her purpose here is to give me that paper, or if she really is convinced she has a job to do that requires her to be so focused on writing right now. But she is me..How does the dreamworld work? Am I the only one who knows its a dream? If I'm creating the dream as I go, and this is all technically me, then is it my decisions that make her character aware or not? Do I control that? Can I make that decision now..or is it too late? I mean, not that it matters..I am God, so I will get her pen and paper. But does she already know that I need it? How compliant will she be? Hmmm'. Amanda continued to think about this as she started to walk over to the woman. She didn’t plan out what she would say to her, because she knew it didn't matter, because whatever happened between her and the woman, she would get the pen. But she decided to approach her with kindness, not because Amanda needed to, but because she wanted to.
“Hello” she said to the unsuspecting woman.
She looked up from her notebook, startled as if she forgot she wasn’t alone in the world.
“Oh, uhh, yes?” replied the woman.
Amanda paused for a moment to gather her thoughts and make sure she had the lady’s full attention.
“Might I trouble you for a sheet of paper and one of your pens.” she said a little more charismaticly than necessary for such a mundane request.
The contrast between Amanda’s strange appearance seemingly out of nowhere (not to mention her cape) and her simple request for a writing utensil made the woman puzzled at first, but then she smiled. She looked Amanda up and down and nodded her head in a “sure, why not?” manner, and began ripping out a blank sheet of paper from her notebook. She grabbed an extra pen from her bag and handed them both to her.
Amanda knew that from the waking world, she would have thought it was amusing that it really worked, but she was God here, so she had no doubt.
Amanda took the lady’s offering, thanked her and walked away. She sincerely meant the gratitude at least as much as someone could when technically talking to themselves..
She immediately started her list, bending down to use the sidewalk as a hard surface to write on.
Faces, where come from?
Do I control every character’s thoughts?
Can Gods learn lessons?
She wrote out 4) but couldn’t remember anything to put there.
“Shit!” she thought. She stared hard at the list, forcing herself to remember.
No memory came.
She decided not to dwell on it and left it blank.
She thought about who this list was for, but did not consider how she planned to take the note from the dream world to the waking world, across reality planes…
As she thought about her waking self, and pictured her body sleeping in her bed, bundled up under her blanket in a pitch dark room at this very moment, her current reality started to get a little fuzzy. She realized that when she focused on both realities at the same time, her brain probably couldn’t handle the double input, and she might accidentally wake up. So she stopped.
But the thought made a question pop in her head. In this world, dreamworld, she was God, she accepted this without question, BUT she knew that her power had limits. She knew the second she returned to the waking world, she would lose her Godly powers of creation and new-found spirituality. And she would gain back her doubt, her sarcasm, and her silly sense of pride in not believing in anything at all. She would lose her Godly sense of self, and this scared her most of all. She felt pity for herself, and a sort of pre-emptive sense of loss. The thought built on itself until she started to see herself, right here, right now in dreamland the way her waking self would see her.
She thought back on all the things she’d done since lucidity- collapsing on the sidewalk, beginning to undress in public, sobbing on the sidewalk, convincing everyone she was God after walking away from a car crash, wearing a cape. Then she looked around her and realized people were still staring at her. Still.
“Oh my Gods.” she started to say. “I am fucking crazy” and let out a chuckle at this realization. She didn’t actually believe she was crazy, she only meant that from the context of the waking world. She knew that if the waking her saw someone on the street act as she had, she would say with absolute certainty that that person was crazy. Bat shit crazy. She would have even pitied the person. Then she realized she just described exactly how the dream idiots in this dreamworld regarded her.
She began to laugh harder. The chuckle grew into a hearty bellow.
She doubled over and started laughing hysterically into the pavement with both hands dug in on both sides of her. The irony of the situation was so strong it was literally palpable, which is a kind of synesthesia only possible in the dreamworld. It wasn’t just possible, it was unbearable! The harder she thought about it, the more she understood it, and the harder she laughed.
The waking her and the dream idiots (or “normies”) all assume she’s insane since she proclaimed herself their God and creator. She understood that inclination to label the crazy person as crazy. She understood it because that’s exactly what the waking her does too. But she also knew that she was right. She knew deep down, through and through that she was not crazy.
“But I know I’m right and they’re wrong” she said to herself. It was difficult for her to keep consciously thinking while kneeling over in laughter. Her sides started to hurt.
‘Goddamn, I’m like the tinfoil hat people from the waking world! Shouting my mad theories about who’s really controlling the world.’ thought Amanda. “BUT I’M FUCKING RIGHT! I’M FUCKING RIGHT! THIS. IS. A. DREAM. I’M FUCKING RIGHT!” she shouted.
She wasn’t trying to convince herself of the fact, but she fell into a pit of laughter and couldn’t escape. This revelation had taken a hold of her almost completely. It felt like it was in control- not her anymore. And it was too delicious not to revel in it. Her laughter continued to build on itself, so much so that she began to cry. If she needed to pee, she would have.
Her uncontrollable hysteria was so violent it began to worry her a little bit. She thought ‘Damn, maybe I am insane,’ but insane for entirely different reasons than thinking she was God (because she was).
Her laughter subsided for a moment.
“No. I’m not crazy.” she said after a moment. “The truth is crazy.”
She began to wonder what crazy even meant to her now, and in doing so, came to another realization.
“Oh my God!” she began laughing again. “I AM the crazies I was looking for!” She facepalmed and sighed sarcastically. ‘And well I guess technically I did find them by coming to this realization right now. Holy shit, this only happens in the movies!’ she thought.
‘Okay remember all of this for when you wake up so you can write everything down! Don’t forget! Don’t forget! Don’t forget!’ she thought, hoping desperately that would come true if she just repeated it enough. She was still thinking all of this through fits of laughter. She no longer wanted to laugh, but couldn’t help herself. Each one built off the last one, and there was no end in sight.
‘Fuck it, just roll with it.’ she thought, and began to pick herself off the ground, holding her sides in pain.
Amanda looked around at the world looking back at her in confusion and terror. She saw everything simultaneously from two perspectives- her waking self’s and her dream-God’s self. She only truly believed her God’s own perspective, but still considered the other.
‘They all think I’m a mental case’ she thought to herself. ‘But what do they represent? Are they my doubt? My skepticism? What??’
She started staring back at the people to scare them, half because she was having fun leaning into the lunacy, half because she was curious about what would happen.
They recoiled in fear, and started walking faster away from her.
She pushed harder, still laughing maniacally, knowing she was right and they’re wrong, but also considering she might actually be insane as well because both were possible at this point.
“You’re not real! Your friends and family aren’t real, the sidewalk you’re walking on isn’t real, and your stupid fucking self-assurance that I’m crazy isn’t real either! I made them all up!” she said to passersby, not caring to hold the conversation with any one person since they’re all the same person- her.
Saying this out loud, even if she was technically still only talking to herself, made her feel better.
She was able to control the intense laughter a bit better now. She was calming down, even able to speak in full sentences without pausing to gasp for air.
“Yes, you’re all very busy. Off to work you go.” she announced to the people on the street. She began walking behind a woman apparently in a hurry, parodying her movements in a robotic fashion.
But after a few steps, she suddenly grew tired of these silly games. She appreciated the lunacy in all this, but she was getting bored. She’d already been through this before, and she didn’t know who she was putting on a show for anymore.
‘Is there a lesson in this for me..?’ she wondered. ‘If there is, it’s lost on me right now and all this is pointless. So why am I here?..What am I doing?’
She realized how insulting it was to allow herself to get bored in her own lucid dream. Then she thought of why the people were ignoring her everywhere she went if she was the one inventing the dream.
‘What if this isn’t MY dream I’m in?’ she considered for a moment.
A shiver ran down her spine.
‘No I don’t think that’s possible..and that’s pretty terrifying so just NO.’
‘Okay.’ she replied to herself, ‘Then what if it’s my subconscious that’s really running the show here, but I just don’t fully comprehend my subconscious..’
She thought it seemed like a cruel joke to play on a God- to be given absolute control of a world but not being able to fully tap into that power or even understand it.
She thought about how strange it is to be kept almost as a prisoner in dream world, forced to acknowledge her subconscious. And she thought about how strange it is to have such a high level of sustained lucidity in a dream when she hadn’t been training to become lucid or even desired to lucid dream since high school. In fact, she had made it a point not to lucid dream ever again since she woke up in an inescapable nightmare once in the 11th grade. She was scared to continue after that.
‘So why now?’ she thought. ‘Why am I experiencing this tonight? Did something in me change? Did my subconscious decide I was ready for it? But why?’ She pondered this a while, but decided she didn’t have enough knowledge on the topic of conscious awareness and dreams, so she put it off for later.
‘Oh man, I’ve been such an asshole’ she realized. ‘Of course Gods can learn lessons. Have I learned NOTHING from mythology?’ she hung her head, sad that it took her until now to learn this lesson. She felt like a child. ‘Well’ she began again. ‘No time like now to turn this dream around.’ And she decided to start immediately because she thought her time might be up soon in dreamworld, since she’d never lucid dreamed for this long before.
‘But where do I even begin? How does one seek out a lesson to be learned?’ She couldn’t think of an answer but decided to start walking anyways.
Amanda still considered herself a novice in the field of lucid dreaming, so she wasn’t confident in how to navigate her dream. She had heard about what others from the waking world have accomplished in their lucid dreams: flying on command, changing scenes on command, doing magic, having very real, mind-blowing sex, occupying other’s bodies, possessing no body and occupying no space at all, and much more. But she hadn’t done any of that. She had only been able to experience the dreams, not bend them to her will (at least until this dream). Although, she did once test out a fun fact about dreams she read online.
On several different websites, it said when you dream about falling, you never actually hit the bottom and always wake up beforehand. So the next time she woke up in a dream, she was on a cliffside and decided to jump off to test it out. She fell hundreds of feet, and as she got closer and closer to the ground, she realized she was going to hit it and that the forums were all wrong. Screaming in terror, she eventually hit the ground, SPLAT!, paused for a minute, got up and realized how dumb it was to think there were universal truths for people’s dreams.
But right now, she was in uncharted territory with lucid dreaming, and that both terrified and excited her. She was getting bored and didn’t know how to change scenes, and she didn’t know where to go or what to do next, all while she was consciously ignoring the reason she was terrified of lucid dreaming in the first place. The last time she lucid dreamed six years ago, it turned into a nightmare that she couldn’t wake up from. She knew just thinking about this might make it happen again, so she calmed herself down, constantly thinking happy thoughts and focused on her breathing.
“Okay, wherever this street leads, it’ll be somewhere nice.” she proclaimed aloud with confidence as she walked along it. She didn’t know where to go, and even though she walks down new streets in new cities almost everyday in the waking world, right now she felt oddly aware of her every move. How she walked. Every breath. When she blinked. When she swallowed. All bodily functions that came naturally to her were now being picked over and examined. About now is when she would put in her headphones in the real world. But she didn’t have a phone, let alone headphones.
She wished that she had some kind of dream guide. ‘Oh man, that’d be so nice to have a dream guide. Someone, or something, to tell me “Oh it’s this way, Amanda!”. It’d be a little more assuring.’
And just then, she stopped in her tracks and had yet another realization, “Ohhhhhhhhh” she said.
‘Like that girl from the beginning. God, of course! How could I be so stupid? What’s her name? Samantha? Or..Shannon? Whatever. I feel like I should just stop trying to take matters into my own hands, and just follow the dream. Just let it lead me, and see where it goes. It’s clearly trying to lead me somewhere.’ She paused for a moment. ‘So let Shannon lead me.’
“I have to go find her!” she said. Only then she realized she didn’t know which way to go. She looked around and tried to mentally retrace her steps to where she first became lucid, but it occurred to her that Shannon might not even still be there.
“Fuck” she lamented.
‘Did I miss my chance? Fuck! Okay, well maybe if I go back now, there’s a chance she’ll still be there.’ she thought.
Amanda thought about it for a few more seconds, and decided that was the best course of action. She read somewhere on an online lucid dreaming forum in the waking world that lucid dreams could be trying to tell you something important, so you should listen to it since it’s your subconscious talking to you. Fighting it would be the equivalent of ignoring your problems, and she did not want to do that. She didn’t know for sure if this was true or not, but it seemed plausible.
So Amanda started walking back in the direction of where she last saw her. She first walked towards the place she was hysterically laughing on the sidewalk, laughing to herself again while recalling the events of just a few moments ago. Then she passed by the cafe where the woman with the computer was still working. Only this time..something was different. The cafe was on the opposite side of the street.
“Fuck!” Amanda whispered to herself. She threw up her hands, and sighed on the street. “Because of course the cafe moved..This is a dream.” She smiled and let out a short chuckle at her stupidity.
‘Okay. So things here aren’t static. But neither am I. Why would I walk all the way back there when I’m God. I can just teleport there. Or teleport her here. Or use a hovercraft. Or fucking fly!’ she thought.
‘Well, if I’m unsuccessful in flying, that’ll kinda bum me out. So how about I just teleport her here..’
“Shannon is going to appear right beside me” she proclaimed to the sky in her divine grace.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in and a deep breath out. She was confident that when she opened her eyes, Shannon would be there. She knew this because she created the world through her thoughts, and she thought it so. But it was still a scary thought..
She opened her eyes, and let her eyes focus. She looked left and right for Shannon, but she was nowhere in sight.
“Hmm” she said, confused.
She pivoted left, searching for her as she slowly spun around. Then as she turned completely backwards, she saw her a few feet away directly in front of her.
“Ahh!” Amanda screamed, instinctively leaning back in surprise.
“There you are!” said Shannon.
“Shannon!” said Amanda.
Amanda looked at Shannon apologetically and said “Heyyy. I’m sorry for yelling at you and being suck a dick. I didn’t mean it. I’m just not used to lucid dreaming. But hey, I’m going to try my best! I feel so much better, I just.. need some water and I’ll be good. Do you have any?”
Shannon looked at her with understanding, and offered her her water bottle “Of course! Take this! I’m so sorry that happened. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Amanda asked Shannon for some water knowing that she didn’t have any, but knowing too that she would have a bottle to giver her.
And she did. It worked. Amanda was learning. But Amanda didn’t do this to confirm it was a dream. She already believed, or else it wouldn’t have worked. She was doing this because it was cool.
She took a few sips of the water, and thought about how real the bottle felt. How real the water tasted. How good it felt going down her throat. She put the bottle down, but still holding it in her hand, tapped the sides of the metal container with her fingernails, making an audible “clink”. ‘Yep, feels like real metal. This is so freaky!’ thought Amanda, and felt a shiver run down her spine. Before she went any further in the dream, she repeated to herself in her head her new mantra: ‘This is a dream, don’t get emotional. This is a dream, don’t get emotional. This is a dream, don’t get emotional.’
“Feel better?” said Shannon.
“Yes, thank you. 100% better, actually.” said Amanda, as she stood up. “Now, let’s go to that thing!”
“I’m so glad you said that. And so happy you’re well now! Let’s go, hun.”
“Let’s” said Amanda as she started walking beside her. She was a little disappointed that her dream guide turned out to be so..human. Human and posh. She said posh because Shannon was British, and that’s a word British people use.
They were walking side-by-side for a few blocks while Shannon recounted to Amanda how worried she’d been about her, but was excited to go to their dinner now that she’d found her.
Amanda was both excited and nervous as she let Shannon lead them to their planned dinner that she knew absolutely nothing about.
“Everyone’s gonna be there, it’ll so great to see them all! Especially out of their work clothes.” said Shannon.
‘Oh, so we’re coworkers. We’re going to a work thing’ thought Amanda. ‘Hmm, maybe I should figure out what we do exactly. Cause I don’t wanna go to this thing completely in the dark.’
“So what..departments are gonna be there?” asked Amanda.
“All of them. It’s a station-wide banquet.”
“Righttt. So remind me again, which ones specifically? Like HR, uhh..”
“Yeah, HR, munching and bunching, haranguing, accounting, ups and downs, the 703’s, us. Everyone. Literally everyone.” replied Shannon.
Amanda let out a smile. She didn’t know why she was nervous. It was a dream. It was nonsensical. Up was down. Anything and everything made sense if she just believed it. If someone said something to her, she would just reply with the first thing that popped in her head. And that would work, because that’s how it worked in dream world. She was much less nervous, and much more excited for the dinner now. It’d be just like improv.
“Oh yes. Of course. Everyone. Glad to hear it.” she replied smirking.
They walked a little further down the street and approached a building that looked to be made of many buildings. It looked as if someone had taken sections from many different skyscrapers, and threw them together.
“Cool.” said Amanda, as they walked up to the front doors.
‘Man, I gotta remember this layout when I wake up! Ugh, I wish I could draw..’ she thought. ‘Okay, don’t forget your mantra “This is a dream. Don’t get emotional. This is a dream. Don’t get emotional.”'
She took in a deep breath as they walked into the building of buildings.
The inside was even cooler than the outside. It reminded her of some post-apocalyptic movie she’d seen, but she wasn’t sure which exactly. There were mismatching catwalks webbing the inner lobby for what seemed like infinity floors up. There were neon lights flooding the place with a rainbow of colors, giving it a futurist dancehall vibe.
Shannon led them further inwards, walking like she owned the place. Amanda was a little jealous of her confidence and started to straighten her back and sway her hips as she walked too. She felt good. She felt feminine and sexy walking with her. But she still had no idea what to expect for this work banquet. She was still a little anxious.
She stole a glance from one of the shiny metal walls they walked past and realized she was wearing makeup. Amanda hadn’t worn or owned any makeup in almost a year, but she had dark winged eyeliner, long lashes and rosy cheeks. Her hair was also curled up into a perfect swirl on top of her head. She’d seen this look when she’d google image searched “how to style a pixie cut”, and now she had the look! She smiled into the wall, thinking ‘Damn, I look good!’
Shannon led her through hallway after hallway, each one made of metal and concrete put together in a very post-apocalyptic fashion. It was strange though, because the people and creatures and rooms they walked past existed in completely different contexts. A room the size of her high school cafeteria was used as a street market. A dirty street market, filled with the smells of rotting beef and fresh garlic. She didn’t know how she felt about that. It was a dusty and packed room, with the food hawkers’ yells filling the air so she could barely hear Shannon if she talked. It resembled most of the markets she’d seen in Asia in the past year.
The next room was a movie theater. People (and things) were queing up to buy tickets and she tried to read what was showing tonight as Shannon herded them along, but she couldn’t make out the text fast enough. It was almost..blurry. Even if she focused her eyes, she couldn’t see it clearly.
‘Strange.’ she thought. ‘It’s like wearing my friend’s glasses.’
The never-ending hallway they used didn’t make any physical sense. They would have reached the back wall of the building by now, but that didn’t matter in dreamworld. This pathway reminded her of both Harry Potter and the quasi-alleyways she’d stumbled on in Asia. The ones that she couldn’t really tell if she was outdoors or indoors. There were walls and a roof, but pavement instead of a floor, and the locals spat and threw away trash like it was the sidewalk, and would even drive their mopeds through it.
They finally stopped at a huge room with red curtains draping down to cover the ugly concrete walls. The building itself was an old piece of junk, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t dress it up. This room had floors. But Amanda was not looking at the floor.
There was so much happening on top of the floors she never even thought to look down. It was difficult to focus on any one thing, like a Where’s Waldo picture. She assumed this was their company’s room for the night, because it looked like there was a banquet happening. She wasn’t entirely sure what a ‘baquet’ was, but she knew they looked like this. The tables were set up almost like a wedding party and the guests were dressed up to the nines.
“Oh perfect, we’re right on time!” said Shannon as she glanced around the room. She looked around as if searching for someone, maybe friends from our “department”.
Amanda was already high strung right now. She was not only at a party where she knew no one, but she was living out a scenario where everyone knew her and she knew nothing.
Her eyes traced the room, trying to take everything in.
“This is a dream. Don’t get emotional.” she repeated to herself, fearing she may become both too scared and too excited to sustain the lucid dream for much longer.
‘There are aliens here! There’s straight up aliens here! Oh my Gods!...Okay, okay, damn, play it cool. Remember the mantra’ she thought.
She glanced around the room again, suspended in disbelief at her own mind’s creations. She was in a room filled with aliens. Aliens. They all appeared to be different too. And none of them recognizable. Some of them were large and purple and had elephant-like skin. Others were transparent.
One of the larger purple ones was approaching them. “Shannon..Amanda!” he exclaimed with excitement.
“Duke! How lovely to see you!” replied Shannon.
Amanda gulped and put on her game face. “It’s been a while, Duke, how’ve you been?” added Amanda, not entirely sure how the dream would react to her improv. Would it play along? Would it catch the ball gracefully and throw it back? Or would it let it flop and stare at her suspiciously..?
“Oh I can’t complain. I got a promotion and a daughter since we last spoke. You’re looking at the new VP of engineering and father!” replied Duke.
‘Phew,’ thought Amanda and mentally wiped her brow.
“That’s so lovely Duke!” Do you have any pictures of the little one??” chimed Shannon.
“I’d be offended if you didn’t ask.” And he whipped out a photo from his back pocket and showed it to them.
Amanda was confused. It looked like an ultrasound..of what appeared to be a caterpillar.
‘Okay..not what I expected. Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh, damnnit!’ she thought. Not wanting to offend Duke or start anything.
“She’s beautiful! You must be so proud.” Amanda said instead, smiling to cover her laughter.
“Why thank you! She really takes after her mother, but thank Heshaun for that. She won’t get anywhere with this ugly mug.” he said, pointing to his own face.
“Oh you’re horrible. Come now, let’s get seats.” said Shannon, leading them to the tables in the center of the room.
Amanda was still phased by Duke. He was walking right beside her, giving her a chance to observe him without him noticing. He was a bit terrifying, and she knew she’d be shitting herself if they weren’t friends in this dream. She had never had a conversation with an alien before, at least not one that she could remember. She knew that this was a dream, but it all felt so real, she was still in awe at the very sight of him! It was difficult to keep calm.
The three of them made their way to their assigned seats at a table close to the back of the room, like Amanda preferred.
She looked around the room, searching and examining all the faces for a hint of familiarity somewhere. But she hadn’t recognized any of them. ‘Did I really invent all of them?’ she thought, both impressed and intimidated by her own seemingly limitless creativity. They weren’t from any TV show or book she could think of. ‘Damn, that’s incredible.’
The room began to fill as more guests entered and took their seats. Drinks were poured and the chatter grew louder. People were enjoying themselves and Amanda wanted to as well, but she couldn’t help but feel (at least a little) like an interloper. It reminded her of that time she faked her way into a guests-only free breakfast buffet at a hotel she didn’t stay at while on vacation. She didn’t belong, and was waiting for someone to call her out on it.
But it never happened then, and she didn’t think it would now, yet her doubt remained.
She joined in on the small-talk at the table. She calmed down and just tried to enjoy the characters she’d meet and get to know them. She had come to realize that lucid dreams aren’t really inclined towards acknowledging your lucidity. So she didn’t have to worry about the characters finding out she was the dreamer.
Now she was a bit more relaxed in just trying to get to know her dream characters better. Like the lady next to her who seemed like a purple relative of Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy. She was telling Amanda about her time patrolling the asteroid belt of GQ29, battling pirates and whatnot.
‘Space pirates!’ she thought. ‘Wow, these guys are awesome!..but I still have no idea what my job is..’
The chatter fell silent as the creature Amanda assumed was the leader, because he sat at the front table, stood up and clinked a fork to his glass. Everyone gave him their attention.
Amanda listened intently so she could finally find out what it is she and this company did. If there was ever a perfect time, this was it because she was sure it would become obvious in his opening speech.
“Friends, family, colleagues,” the senior alien began, “thank you all for coming to this year’s Hunger Games!”
Amanda’s heart sank. She grasped her dinner knife lying under her hand hard, fearing her mysterious dream just took a nightmarish turn.
‘Oh Gods, please let that be a joke!’ she thought, gauging the audience’s reaction. She caught a lump in her throat. ‘Please be a joke! Please be a joke!’
There was a pause, then everyone erupted in laughter at once, unable to contain the hilarity built up in themselves. But Amanda only let out a narrow chuckle.
“Good one, Boss!” said someone from the audience.
The boss began to smirk. The purple Gamora-looking woman seated to Amanda’s left had to wipe a tear from her eye with a napkin as she laughed.
It was a joke.
No one was going to die tonight.
No one would be chosen as tribute.
It was a joke.
Duke elbowed her in the stomach, playfully, seeming to say “good one, eh?”
She began to clap with everyone else as she let out a sigh of relief.
She loosened her grip on her dinner knife and relaxed.
The room settled after a bit, and the Boss began again “No, I kid hard, you all know.” he said and cleared his throat. “Welcome to this year’s, the 1014th annual company banquet! Thank you all for coming out tonight, and a special thank you to the SQ team for putting this all together. Let’s give them a round of applause” and he paused while everyone clapped. “I wanted to thank each and every one of you for working so hard this year. It’s you and your continued commitment to our cause that makes all of this possible. Thanks to you guys, we’ve set more communities free than any other single year in our history! Thanks to you guys, those who would have fallen down are now able to stand up for themselves. So first up.” he paused while briefly looking at his notes “I’d like to thank the Pia team. They join these communities one year after liberation, providing money, infrastructure and resources to ensure their continued freedom. And on that note, I think we’ll hear from Amanda, their Captain.”
The room started to clap and the spotlight switched from the Boss to Amanda. It was bright, and she had to squint her eyes to keep from sneezing. But the brightness isn’t what bothered her...no, she was now the center of attention of a room full of co-workers that expected her to update them on her job she knew nothing about. ‘Why didn’t Shannon tell me I’d need to make a speech???’
All eyes were on her. The room was silent. She felt like back in high school, when she had to give a book report on a book she hadn’t read, only this time, she wasn’t even given time to bullshit! She realized how ridiculous this situation was, which reminded her that it was only a dream. So she repeated her mantra to calm her nerves.
‘This is a dream. Don’t get emotional. This is a dream. Don’t get emotional.’
The mantra was working! She could actively feel herself calming down, and the nerves disappear. Her inclination to freeze up both mentally and physically melted away!
‘Wow, I can’t believe I was scared of this before. Yeah, it’s an unprepared speech I’m completely clueless about...but it’s only a dream.’
She no longer cared about everyone staring at her, because she knew they were not real. She no longer cared about what they would think of her speech, because they weren’t real. All it took was a little change of perspective.
So without even an opening line thought up, she stood up from her chair, with a smirk on her face, because she was having fun with the dream.
‘You can’t screw it up in a dream unless you believe you’ll screw it up’ she thought, standing in front of her chair.
“Brothers and sisters, what my department accomplishes is but a small part of what our company does...altogether.. No single one of us can do what we do without the rest of us. We are all a team. It takes all of us. But, we here at Pia Team are able to try and ensure no one we help gets left behind..or forgotten..after the media leaves. I think standing up for the little guy in his time of need is something we can all get behind. So thanks to all of you for making that possible.”
She raised her glass, signaling the speech was over. She knew it was a load of nonsense, but going off what she had, which was virtually nothing, she thought she did an okay job of it.
The rest of the room raised their glasses with her and toasted.
But after the toast, the audience began to clap. Slowly, at first, but it grew to a thunderous applause. ‘They loved it! They fucking loved it!’ she thought, and smiled.
‘Okay, so I did pretty good then.’
“Thank you” she said shyly and slightly embarrassed.
They continued to clap, and she thought “Well damn dream, the speech wasn’t that good. Why are they giving me so much praise? ..They’re still clapping, what is this? Oh, is the dream trying to tell me something? I don’t know what this means, but they need to stop, Jesus.’
She looked over at the Boss, trying to tell him telepathically to go to the next one.
He got the message and said “Thank you Amanda! That was wonderful, I think we can all agree to that” and he continued on to the next speech.
Shannon leaned in closer to Amanda and said “Great speech, hun” and winked.
The rest of the talks flew by in a blur, since time works in a funny way in dreamworld.
When it was time to eat, Amanda quickly started urging herself to remember these foods for when she finally wakes up, even though she ate non-existent fruits and vegetables.
(She never did remember when she woke.)
She began to wonder how much longer she’d be in this lucid dream, since it’s the longest one she’d ever experienced, by far. She began wondering ‘Oh man, what if I never get out?’ But she quickly tossed aside that thought, knowing that all dreams must end, even this one.
‘This is just a dream. Don’t get emotional. This is a dream. Don’t get emotional.’ Deciding to say it internally, in case her dream characters ask her what she’s talking about.
She was not completely relaxed or “zen” at this point, but she was able to calm herself down enough to accept what was happening and ride it out. She also was not in God-mode either, she fully realized where she was, and that the body she occupied wasn’t actually real, but she no longer thought of herself as God in this context. Not when she felt so out-of-the-know at this dinner. She was not God, and her physical body she possessed at the moment was also not real, she was just Amanda. Just Amanda.
But she did appreciate how awesome and mind-altering this experience has been, and hoped more than anything else that she would remember this when she returned to the waking world. She didn’t know if there was a God in that world, so she prayed to herself. Not because she thought herself as God again, but because if she willed herself to remember, wanted herself to remember, and expected herself to remember, then maybe she would remember. She didn’t know if that line of logic applied to the waking world, but she herself straddled both worlds, so why not?
The banquet was over, and she and the others at her table gathered together in the hallway to chat for a bit.
They were gossipping. The Gamora-looking girl whose name Amanda had forgotten was crushing on a guy two tables down from them during the banquet, but was too shy to say anything to him. Amanda enjoyed setting people up, so she told her to point him out as he was leaving and she’d go and talk to him for her.
Amanda approached the guy, also a purple-skinned alien, but with a handsome face. Amanda saw why she was into him- he was hot.
She tried to stop him before he got past her. “Hey you” she said.
He looked up, puzzled, and looked around. When he saw Amanda looking straight at him, he pointed to his chest and mouthed “Me?”
“Yeah, you. Come here.” she replied, waving him over.
He walked over, finding his way through the crowd of co-workers filing out.
“Uh hey. Sorry, do I..know you?” he asked.
“No, but I know someone who knows you.” Amanda replied straight away.
“Is that right?” he said, interest piqued.
“Yep. She couldn’t keep her eyes off you all night. Do you know who I’m talking about? The purple sitting next to me at my table..”
“Ohh, yes in fact I did notice her.”
“Are you-” began Amanda.
“Amanda! Glad I caught you here. Remember I had something to discuss earlier?” said the Boss, interjecting himself in the conversation.
“Oh yes, of course, I’ll meet you at the end of the hallway. I just have to say goodbye to my friend”
“Oh okay. Didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”
“No worries, Boss,” she said as he walked off.
“So anyways,” said Amanda to the man “my friend is really into you, so if you’re interested, just say hi to her out in the lobby. Maybe just a ‘Hey, I noticed you at dinner but I never caught your name’ or something. But anyways, I gotta go talk to the Boss. You know. Good luck! Nice meeting you!” and with that , she went off to the end of the hall to talk with the Boss.
She felt good as she walked away. Like she had left the guy interested, wanting more, so he would talk to the girl. She didn’t know much about either one of them, but she still hoped something would come if it. She’d get the details later from the girl, but right now she had to talk to the Boss. She had to focus. ‘I wonder what he wants with me?’ she thought as she walked to the end of the hall to meet with him.
She saw the Boss, but he was in the middle of a conversation, so she walked past him so he’d see her point ahead when he made eye contact to let him know she’d wait for him up ahead.
She leaned against the wall and waited for the Boss to join. She people-watched for a bit, smiling briefly with anyone she made eye-contact with, but mostly averting her gaze. She wondered what these people’s lives were like outside of work. Were they happy? Did they have kids? Did they truly believe in their work or was it just a way to pay the bills? Who was sleeping with who?
The Boss finally approached her. “Amanda. I also found Shannon here, now why don’t we all talk, because this pertains to both of you, actually.”
Intrigued, Amanda followed him further down the hall right beside Shannon. They both looked at each other, shrugged and continued behind him.
Amanda was both excited and a little nervous to find out what it was the Boss had to tell them.
‘It kinda sucks that he wants to talk work stuff at the party..but I don’t know, it seems important’ she thought.
But as she was thinking this thought, she had a growing sense that she had forgotten another thought. An important one. She sensed there was something she was supposed to remember, something she was thinking about all night, but had slipped her mind when she wasn’t thinking about it for a while. It annoyed her she couldn’t remember what it was.
‘Something about a mantra?’
She decided to think on it later. Right now, she had to focus on the Boss.
A little further down the hall, the Boss unlocked a door to his left, and waved them both in. When they entered, they saw a small computer room with another door on the opposite wall.
Walking in behind them, and making sure to close the door behind himself, the Boss made his way to the second door.
“So you know a few months ago, we found several new communities in sector 7...” started the Boss, tuning the keys in his hands to find the one to open the next door.
“Sure..yeah” replied Amanda and Shannon.
“Well, there was something else we found that didn’t go on the official report..”
Amanda and Shannon looked at each other and then to the Boss.
He unlocked the second door, walked inside and turned on the lights.
When Amanda and Shannon walked in, they said in perfect unison “OH MY GODS”.
The second room was a gigantic warehouse with hundreds of hospital gurneys arranged in perfect rows and columns. On each bed was a sleeping patient hooked up to an IV and O2 mask.
“Boss, what’s going on here?”
“Yeah Boss, what the fuck is this?” said Amanda.
“They’re from sector 7.We didn’t find them in our initial sweep because they’re all asleep. Deep sleep.” he said as he started walking down one of the rows of patients.
Here the dream was trying to help Amanda remember what she had forgotten. It was hinting to her, calling to her, as if saying “Hey. It’s a dream. You’ve forgotten it’s all a dream.” But it was up to her to get the message. If it sparked an inkling of realization or awareness within her, then perhaps it would re-trigger her to wake up. If she didn’t take the hint, then she would lose what little lucidity she had left in dreamworld, and her consciousness would transition to normal dreaming. It’s all up to her.
“Who put them to sleep?” said Amanda.
“We have no idea. And they’re proving very hard to wake up. They’re not responding at all, we’ve tried everything, but they’ve been like this for 3 months now and nothing’s changed.”
“Three months?! How could you not tell us about this?” asked Shannon.
“I’m telling you now.”
“Boss, this is bad. We have no idea what did this to them and we have no idea how. And whatever it is is still out there doing this to others. This is really bad.” said Amanda.
“I know. That’s why I’m counting on the two of you.”
“Boss, with all due respect, we should have been briefed much sooner on this. We have so much lost time now..” said Shannon, obviously wanting to say more but cutting herself off.
“This is a very serious matter, and I didn’t want it getting out, so only myself, the commissioner and a secret team of scientists were aware of this mission. But now you two are as well.”
Amanda looked around the room, taking in the sight of the hundreds of sleepers everywhere.
“We’ve got a lot of work to do, Shan.”
Shannon and Amanda looked at each other, nodding their heads in acknowledgement.
“I knew you would understand. You’re professionals. That’s why I can count on you. And I trust you know that this doesn’t leave this room. No one can know, got it?”
“Yessir” they said in unison again.
The Boss nodded to them and said “Good. Report anything you find directly to me. I’ll come back in a few days. Now I’ll leave you to it.” He handed the keys to Amanda, and started to walk out, but as he had one foot out the doorway, he turned around and said “And ladies,” pausing for them to look up.
“Yes?”
“..thank you.”
They smiled and nodded at him in acceptance and the Boss left the room and shut the door, leaving Amanda and Shannon to their work.
“I still can’t believe all this” said Shannon, looking back at the bodies.
Amanda laughed and rubbed her temples. “It’s a fucking mess, I know. But we can do this. Trust me.”
Shannon sighed and walked back into the computer room and sat down. Amanda joined her at the computer beside hers and leaned over, “Don’t worry. When all of this is over, we’ll have a fun night out. I’ll buy.”
Shannon started to laugh as she got up and started walking back to the door of the warehouse. Amanda followed.
Amanda’s inkling was almost completely gone now as her mind fully accepted her strange new reality. Having left her mantra and reality checks at the door, her consciousness slipped out of lucidity. She lost her hunch, her feeling that ‘something was up’. She was on the path to sleep again and nothing would stop her now.
She was about to cross through the doorway. But Amanda didn’t realize the significance of it. It was not just exiting one room and entering the next. Her crossing into the next room marked her crossing into another dimension of sleep. As her foot passed over the doorstep, she pierced through the veil of lucidity and exited to join the rest of her dream characters on the other end of consciousness- Bowler hat guy, the people on the street, and Shannon. She lost the element that made this dream experience so incredible for her- consciousness. Her being awake and fully conscious in such a silly land is what made the dream so wonderful and mystifying. But sadly, this was all lost now.
Her fears had become true. She had forgotten she was dreaming. She was so wrapped up in the dream plot, she forgot who she really was and why she was there. She forgot her mantra, her identity, her Being. As her consciousness fell back asleep within herself, dreamland lost its enchantment. Without the realization of who she was and constant questioning of her reality, it was just another day at work. Her charming dreamworld had become her normal world.
“Oh, and I’ll introduce you to one of my best friends, Becs. We’re gonna hang out soon, you should come with. I think you two would get along”, she told Shannon.
She faded slowly into the background, becoming dream.
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